photo shooting

today was going for a shooting..
erm~juz a normal shoot!my mum got a voucer so she asked my bro n i went for it~
it was all free of charge~so good,rite?

please dont feel happy whn u get sumthg tat is free~coz they have ever be serious nor quality~

m i look different from this photo??haha!i cnt even recognised whn i saw it~i hate my teeth!*stupid camera man kept ask me to smile n showed my teeth~yerr!!

my shoot was so s*ck!!gosh~ there has no others word can describe except s*ck..guess wat?! i m totally too fat for it!!ZOMG!!felt lik goin to suicide!!arg~

ok~i should not be so rude! sry~hehe~! anyway,it is still acceptable~and i realised tat was not their false!is de modal's problem!haha.im nt a good modal~

my bro has too! bt his photo was ever better thn mine! *n i was murmuring thr!!he is too handsome!his potential always be higher thn mine!!

nvm!i hav been get use to it!guess wat?! he is too handsome~~hhaha!proud to have such handsome bro~

after went back, trying out my own shooting..hehe..

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today is teachers' day~my skool is goin to celebrate for it tomorrow~considering to skip it and hav a rest at home..*good idea, rite?

so bored whn everyone is sitting at the stupid multipurpose hall n doing nothing thr~so i decide to skip it~~!hahaha~i think almost half of the students from my class would not goin too~

osh..my eyes goin to close and my brain almost cant function ady..

goin to sleep ~ zZZZ

good nite peeps!

yesterday, i went out with some guys..

and i would lik to post it soon..juz let me get some photo 1st~

juz wait for it..

mother's day

9th of MAY

is a big day for every MUMMY~every1 celebrate for tis big day and guess wat?i celebrated it too..^^

before went for celebrated it, i was pleased to attend a seminar of SPM BM~

i paid rm108 for tat!awh~my heart was bleeding whn i was paying with my pocket money..

bt so how~it was totally worth for it~

* i hope tat it really usefull to help me get A in my spm~if nt..hehe..i will find someone else to kidnape tat instructor!!XD

i was sitting thr n listening to tat instructors for 10hrs..OMG~i almost fell asleep after 3hrs.luckily,i nvr really fell asleep~god bless!haha

i met my secondary lower school's fren who called MR.SOH~i was so surprise whn i saw him..

*forgot to take photo v him..

met alot of familiar faces~bt i thk they did not really can recognised me..okay~i noe i hv changed alot..^^

over all, i gained lots of knowledge n some teknic for how to answer the paper..

here,some photo..

EUGENE ,SHELBY,SHIHWEI

miss shelby and mr.cheng^^



mr.Eugene and miss shelby

u see~!tat vivian is always so slim n tall~~

hw bout me..?TT

i prefer this photo much~

juz feel we are so sunny~haha

the crowded hall

gosh~snapped by Mr.YIn

ahhh!!haha..well~

ignored my fatty finger~

haha..funny rite?!

two guy from top are Mr Chua & Mr. Yin

two girls from left are Miss Phang & Miss Hoye~

the speech finished at 6.30pm~i rushed back to school and my mummy was so tension..she kept phoned me and asked me to get back to school as fast as possible..they was in hurried to go for dinner..

okay..around 7pm,i went to a restaurant which located in cheras to have a meal with my family~

thr was so crowded, n i nearly cnt got breath~== the food thr not really nice..n i juz ate abit~

bcoz i was already fulled ~

neither service nor food was nt really nice~compared to last few year, tis year we really nt celebrated it well~

i hv had no give any present to my mummy n my bro not too..i thk she was really disappointed..

sorry mummy~ i cnt fulfill ur hope nor ur dream..

i thk the only present i can only give her is my SPM result~i promised to get a pretty nice result n gt some scholarship so that u will proud of having such clever daughter~^^

this is my precious grandmum~

she is so young~

gosh~i looked even so tiring~

haha..wat's my grandmum looking for..??

i heart tis~

trying to be sexy pose~

my cutie cousin..

haha~my third aunt..she like to be tat..

cute rite?

err..i thk they will feel like owh-shit-man

when they saw tis photo..

pretty smallest aunt..

oh man~baby was trying the taste of beer..

u see~she use to make tat emotion whn i asked her to take photo..^^

wahh~table fulling with beer cans..

at last i would like to say:

" happy belated mummy's day'

=T

I'm so damn happy,u noe??

hhahaha!!yea!!!

wat's a funny joke??!!

muahahaha

WORTH???!!!

pleasa,stop doin such thg on me..

i refuse to be judged~

u dunno me well!

trying hard to conceal my sadness!

masking everyday

bt

at last, i discover tat..

all i did for it was juz useless!!

suffering on bearing tears..

TT

死

最近的最近，生活忙的透不过气！
我压力真的很大！
请别再向我施压了！！我是人类，不是机器人！！
你可以从晚睡到中午没人理!可是我累了睡下午觉却被你说成如此~~

别说我不认真,不用功!我半夜4点起身读书你看得见?? 不!
我在学校的认真,你有看过? 不!
我的生活如何你懂? 不!
我伤心我烦恼你懂? 不!
我哭泣你懂? 不!
我为的是什么你懂? 不!

你就是什么都不懂不了解~ 在你眼里,我什么都不是!
不管我多么努力,你就是视而无睹!

你使的无形压力,我真的受不了~ 全科甲 你以为容易?
好!你来考吧!
你不可以好好的听我解释的吗?
我不说不代表没事..我的事,你们从不关心~
眼里就只有钞票! 不是什么东西都可以以钱来衡量!

是你把我搞到如此!
你让我在学校变得如此..就是你
现在女儿如此,汝悦焉~
吾无言~~

过去的嬉闹,如今却如此孤寂~

就让我死去吧!!

shelby

these is what i can describe my life now

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SHELBY IS SO DEAD RECENTLY..!~!!!

girls

i think thr is something wrong on me..coz i m failing in cheering myself up,though tat i hav tried my hard~~there's ntg tat i can say except a word ' lonely'~~lots of discontentment bugging me!!
i m almost breathless!!

girls,i hv alot of thing wanna to say out actually..bt i juz keep it as a secret n it is now driving me crazy.. i feel like i hv few topic to talk to u all~n wat u all saying,i juz cnt understand n almost dunno sometime~i thk tis is de main causing us feel strange..i realised tat distance among us appeared..i feel so strange!!i m such a stranger whn we gathered..mayb is my problem i thk..coz i juz keep quite without saying a word thr..u all never realised tat the present of me sometime~
i noe i m a lame person who dunno to ply joke nor kidding..i was trying my best to gt ur attention!bt it failed~totally failed~wat i gt is only IGNORED~~n nw i hav adapted to it~~is my problem~stupid problem~is ok anyway..sometime i juz feel so unfair..okie..i m nt writing out the reason..*shhhh~nt goin to tell anybody~

i m alone..n sometime feel lonely..i hv had no much fren..

arguement~~

gosh~~
m having lots of troublesome tat i facing now~~!!
everythg juz come as so sudden~

hav some arguement with my mum juz now..
actually not quarrel nor argue la...juz discuss~~==

mum: 'girl~juz now i asked tat uncle..he said that his daughter all studied at university..IS ALL FREE!!'
I :' so..??'
mum: ' so after u hav finished ur spm..u continue ur study with form6,after tat government will send u to a good university~~IS ALL FREE!!'
I :' mum!do u thk form6 lesson is so easy??!so easy to get scholarship a??dont dream la..it is really hard la~!my frens cnt get a good result at their stpm though tat they got all A in their SPM~~'
MUM : ' u dun say ur fren..ur frens all cnt study..all juz lik to hang out n nvr put any attention in their studies..ofcoz la they wan faster finish their study n thn go to college la..'
I :' who say??!!they all are good students la~~"
mum:'blablablabla...'


at last,her conclusion..
' U MUST GET ALL A's~AND STUDY FORM 6!!THAT'S ALL!!'


i m really speechless of her childish mind~~!!form6..omg~~i will hav a big pressure on it~~
should i really follow wat my mum want me to do??
who can help me???



FED UP!!!
gosh~~

想

我的微笑,我的伪笑??

好久好久，没有感受到这种强烈的感觉了..
已被埋没许久的情感突然涌了出来!!
眼前有许多甜美的画面,虽已事隔多日,但感觉尤新,我依然会甜在心头~
尽管如此,过多的回忆,也令我难受~
甜蜜回忆的后头总跟随着少许的苦涩~

虽然说已遗忘,但看见熟悉的情景,听见当时爱听的歌,脑海总会勾勒出你的模样~
夜阑人静的时候,总会期待那铃声的响起..我还期待着..
劝自己不去看不去留意你的一切,担心以平静下来的情感再次被牵动~
但事与愿违,总是忍不住去关切..
最后,搞到遍体鳞伤,又有谁会来慰问,又有谁会了解当时的感受???
大家只会说放弃吧..这些安慰的台词真的不能启到任何的作用..
不是不想,而是无法!!

现在的我和你就像两条平行线,不会有交集的一天..
我只可以站在你对面的地平线,默默的看着你,留意你的一切~
虽然知道平行线不会有交集的一天,
但我依然还傻傻地祈祷着奇迹!!!

我并不想恋爱,

我只想有个肩旁..

一个能够在我伤心时让我依偎的肩旁!

我想我真的累了!!!

对不起

不知道我是用怎样的心情来写这篇～
心里是万分的惭愧～

青组输了~
我真的很伤心很内疚!!我没有把你们教好~
我从来也没真正的了解你们的感受~我只会骂你们~
你们从来不敢向我说你们受伤了或是什么的..
你们都害怕我会责怪你们~
我很失败..因为我无法让你们团结..
我想尽办法了~但到了出场的那刻你们还是很像一盘散沙..
我也从来没有好好教你们数拍子~因为我是一个不数拍子只听音乐跳的人~
我是个失败的队长~!我不是一个好队长~
当我看到你们在场上跳错时,我不生气..我只觉得很伤心!

我无法当你们的好队长..
我很自私..我不该生病的~~我更不应该在那时候晕倒的..
我不该让你们担心的~我不该应响你们的情绪的!我不该让你们看到我的眼泪的!
我应该安抚你们的心情,而不是扰乱你们的..
对不起~~~!!我真的控制不了我自己..
我真的无法支撑下去了~
那天吊完水后,我很想马上跑去找你们的..
可是不行..
我真的不该在那时候生病的~~!!

不过还好你们大家都没事..
你们都顺利地把整支舞完成了..
除了我,你们都做得很好~
我知道现在才内疚是没用的..
已经过了..
但是我脑子还是不断的想..
眼泪还是不断的不受控制..
你们大家的辛苦却得不到回报..
看着你们跌地全身伤,我是多么的担心和心痛..



对不起你们!!对不起青组~~!
我把青组搞到如此地糟糕~
我让青组感到羞耻!!
我没有资格当你们的队长~~~!!!

我真的没抄袭~~
舞步都是我们想先的~是你们硬要说是我们抄~~!!
我的辛苦没人看见..
我辛苦想出来的,却被你们称为抄~!!!
不公平!!!!


TT

ffff

i m really hv had enough of tat!!!
i hate wat u said n wat u hv did!!!
it really FED UP!!!!
can u juz use ur brain n thk before u try to scold me???!!!!

dun said something stupid thg to me!!
dont thk tat u can stand for me as well!!
i juz wan to tell u a truth..~~YOU ARE NOT!!!!
u juz cant understand~~
i hate!!!!!!n feel so sad~~my heart juz bleeding whn u scolded~

dont u try to ask me the reason ???
y u juz cant hav a softly talk v me???
i know u juz treat him better thn me!!i know it!!!n everyone can feel it too!!!
damn it~~!!!
far away from this relationship~~
may i ask u a question??m i ur daughter??!!!
u never care for me!!!
no doubt,u hv ever!!!!

stop annoying~

no matter what i did,it is juz a waste!!

fine~~

juz go n hav a hug v ur lovely little son la!!!

juz treat me as a dead person lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SRY

sry to u all..
nt i dunwn to go..bt juz i feel tat i m not suppose to go out anymore~~
i hv no mood to go anymore~~!!
i hope i can juz stay at home n do not go out anywhr!!

i feel down..
i am moody
i feel upset
i feel embarrasse
every negative thking juz located in my mind~
bt i juz dunno the reason i feel so..
i hv no confidence to my appearance anymore!!

tat y i dunwn to go~~
so sry!!i m not really wanna to do so..bt it juz cant controlled by me!!
i hate myself!!
i hv a bad-looking~~
n i did alot of embarrasse thing tat i really regret~
owh sh*t~~if i hv a chance,i would not do it again~!!
i dunwan do it twice in my life!!
DUN WAN!!!
TT

sry~~i cnt help u at tis time!!
bt i will alway by ur side..
wish ur plan will b success!!

AN UGLY GIRL GOIN TO DROP HER TEARS...

i should expect it could happen at the begining

though tat i do like clubbing, bt i realized tat i could not to do so..
i should control my mind for nt going any clubbing after tis holiday!
should be more concentrate in my studies stuff~
and my skin care too!!it really dissappointed me!!

i love clubbing,and it is not wrong~
tipsy me,had did alot of stupid mistake~~
should be control myself..i felt that i am just an idiot after drinking..!
i would do alot of stupid thing and almost out of controlled~
somehow i think of u after i drank..i drank alot to be drunk..
*but u never care!so that i hav let u go~

please forgive myself,because i hav did something that really regret me~
i cant accept that truth !undoubted it drive me upset~
it was running in my mind for a whole night~~!i felt ashamed!!
*please kill me!!
how do i face u all ???

i should try to think at a good way~is tat right??
we should expect everything that may happened since we hav stepped into those places~
dont worry!!i will be okay soon..

should go back to my little-good-girl-lifestyle!!
please bless me all the best!!

i hav fallen to u..

but u dont!

it disappointed me!

relationship dont get deep to me~

never got the whole in love thing!

you all juz said love me truely

bt at last it didnot mean anything~

nw i juz feel tat i was strayed from love!!

why the guys tat i like,they hav ever like me??

do i hv any problem?do i wrong to fall for u all??

every1 tat i like will juz fall for my friend~

i was drown

i m

i m a failure~~
ntg i can say..i juz wanna to admit tat i m a super FAILURE!!

is OVER~

please stop it!!!
i m a hot tempered..i noe it!!
sorry to those who scolded by me as sudden~~

shelby..
u r really a failure~~!!!